Archive for the ‘Clues for the Clueless’ Category

 Break the ice at those boring office parties, by telling folks that you have a bow tie made from real chipmunk fur.

 You will appear more dashing to others if you tell them that on Saturdays, you go to sporting events only to shoot beaver.

 Wearing non-matching shoes and socks will make you more interesting to your coworkers. Conversations are guaranteed!

 Walking around the park with a goldfish in a small bowl will let you meet far more people than walking a dog will.

 Tired of sharing your bus seat with others? Mumble, drool and frown until they move to a different seat.

 Want to stand out in a crowd? Get a Mohawk haircut, but tell your barber to make it run from ear to ear rather than front to back.

 Need some excitement in your otherwise boring life? Drive to a seamy bar in a bad neighborhood right after lunch. Drink until closing time, discussing religeon and politics with whoever sits near you. Excitement will develop.

  Tired of the same old dating scene? Bathe only on Mondays. On Friday evening, hit the singles places. You’ll discover that you’re attractive to a totally different group of people.

If you shave on a daily basis, cut back back to shaving every other day. Your costs of shaving will drop 50% the first month! Alternatively, shave only one side of your face daily. The cost savings will be the same.